this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
