just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
