i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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