I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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