Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
