just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
