My room smells like vodka and shame
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
