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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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