My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
