Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
