Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I wish there were birth control emojis
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
