I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Damn victory sex feels great
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