Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize