Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
