that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Pants are for mortals
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
