I must be too annoying 4 u.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
