Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
what the fuck happened to the tacos
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize