Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
