I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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