I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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