You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
