someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
