i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize