I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
