I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
