Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
