Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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