After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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