okay pat passed out under dana's car
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
