Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
