This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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