Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
