That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
