i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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