New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
