I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
