uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
