I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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