dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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