Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize