I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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