i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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