I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
