so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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