You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize