She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
