she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize