the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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