dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
