I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
