i wish starbucks made bloody marys
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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