i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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