She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
