Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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