I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
