apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
