Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
