There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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