I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
