would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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