just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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