youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
