We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
