Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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