I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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