Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
