she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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