i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
