Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
